land of the loving

music by david benoit
interpreted by dianne reeves

deep in your eyes is a promise
love can be ours if we want it
starting tonight ev'ry dream i ever knew
here in your arms i'm believing
fin'lly my life has a meaning of its own
here in the land of loving i am home

i was alone in the city
searchin' for someone to find me
cold empty nights and a million strangers' eyes
here in your arms i'm beginning
to leave behind all the loneliness i knew
here in the land of loving there is you...

in this simple room magic is made
though the world seems unchanged
leave the lights on i'm a little afraid
this might be just a sweet dream...

deep in the night love is growing

though i had no way of knowing
that when i found you i found ev'rything I need
here in your love i'll be staying
fin'lly my life won't be living all alone
here in the land of the loving i am home...

***

i have learned that no matter what pains and heartaches you go through, as the proverbial saying goes, there will always be light at the end of the dark tunnel.... a reward for all the sacrifices... a million of things to be happy about for every sadness and tear that fell... and if you're lucky, a true and genuine love waiting with open arms in the land of the loving...

sometimes love comes to us in the most unexpected time, ways, or places. and yes, at times when you have already come to terms with yourself and gathered all your senses to realize that you do not need love in your life to really be happy. romantic love, that is. when it seems that the love of family and friends are more than enough to fill your cup of emptiness, it suddenly overflows with more love than you ever expected and are ready for.

God teaches in the most unique of ways... at times He wants us to accept harsh realities of life first before He gives us what we deserve. as long as we are still stubborn and hardheaded, we will commit the same mistakes over and over again until we learn. we have to be broken into pieces first, before we can be whole again. but, putting back all the shattered pieces of yourself will not be an easy task. you can only do this if you have truly learned.

i have loved this song almost my entire life... and i never thought i would fully understand what it says until now. now i can say i am finally home...

blogging lag... holiday rush... etc...

haven't been blogging lately for the reason that, one, my headset here at work is not working anymore so i can't do my regular music posts. how am i supposed to know if the video i will post sounds okay if i can't even hear it. i don't know when they are going to buy me a new one, so i guess my song posts will be on hold for a while. hay.... two, i've been busy preparing some stuff for work, both work deadlines and christmas party preparations. i've also been busy with my own personal preparations for the holiday season and some trips. well, i guess everybody is, specially at this time of the year.

my mom and i have also been kinda busy buying stuff these past weekends, so we've been frequenting the malls. we're not really buying that much gifts since we don't really have many to give presents to since we hardly see old friends or relatives. i myself haven't really been buying gifts for my godchildren since in my experience the past years, my gifts were just wasted or outgrown since they nor their parents don't really find the time to see me or meet up. maybe if i have a car, i would've played santa and drop every gift to their houses. but then again, that will be too tiring and impractical wouldn't it? my godchildren live all over the metro. don't tell me i have to drive from the north, where i live, all the way down south. i even have some godchildren living off town or i think even out of the country, so how's that? so much for being santa alright! sigh... gone are the days when godchildren visit each and every godparent during christmas time. well, i can't blame these kids or their parents. who would want to go visit his/her godparents if they will just hide from you?

in my opinion, parents should get really close friends for godparents to their children, those whom they really trust and with whom they maintain a connection with throughout the years. besides, that's the real meaning of being a godparent, isn't it? a godparent is supposedly someone who can also be a parent to your child. it is not some fund raising activity of sorts, or a parade of wealthy and well-known individuals posing for the christening pictures. unless you expect someone to bail out your kid if ever he gets into trouble, well then ya, i can understand why you get a congressman, or even a president! oh well...

anyhow, after a few weekends that mom and i have been going to the mall, it was only this last one that i was able to bring my digicam, accidentally. it was in my bag because i went to conspi's anniversary the night before. although i never took any pic that night. ya, i know. weird. haha... there's nothing to take pictures of anyway. oh, but that's another story. anyway, it was good that i remembered that i had the cam in my bag, so i took some shots of the food we ate at a new thai resturant at sm city north edsa, the block named jatujak. i haven't done food blogging in a while. so, i hope this is a good jumpstart since the lag.


i can say that the food is nice, though i didn't like how they prepared the pad thai noodles i ordered. it's too sweet for me. the best tasting food of all our orders was the one i wasn't able to take a shot of. i was too hungry already since i didn't have breakfast. hahaha... i forget the name of it, but it has crispy fish flakes on top and underneath is shredded green mangoes. yum! i will definitely go there again to try the other kinds they offer in their menu.

i like what they did to their ceiling. simple but nice.

thai iced tea

the pad thai noodles i ordered

rice served in a nice silver cup

my mom ordered crispy pork something... i forget the name. hehe... it's very, very crunchy like chicharon, but not oily. :)

i love that cute little purple elephant.. hihi....

it was a great thai food experience and i hope to taste more of jatujak's food in the future! so to the purple baby elephant... see you soon! :)

"gorecki" by lamb

Gorecki @ Yahoo! Video

gorecki

if i should die this very moment
i wouldn't fear
for i've never known completeness
like being here
wrapped in the warmth of you
loving every breath of you
still my heart this moment
or it might burst
could we stay right here
until the end of time until the earth stops turning
wanna love you 'till the seas run dry
i've found the one i've waited for

all this time i've loved you
and never known your face
all this time i've missed you
and searched this human race
here is true peace
here my heart knows calm
safe in your soul
bathed in your sighs
wanna stay right here
until the end of time
'til the earth stops turning
gonna love you until the seas run dry
i've found the one i've waited for

the one i've waited for

all i've known
all i've done
all i've felt was leading to this
all i've known
all i've done
all i've felt was leading to this
wanna stay right here
'til' the end of time 'till the earth stops turning
i'm gonna love you till the seas run dry
i've found the one I've waited for
the one i've waited for
the one i've waited for

wanna stay right here
'til the end of time 'till the earth stops turning
i'm gonna love you till the seas run dry
i've found the one i've waited for
the one i've waited for
the one i've waited for

it's been a long while since i have blogged again... there may be so many topics to write about or songs to post, but i couldn't find myself to write. the things that have happened in the past weeks have left me first, dumbfounded, then in deep contemplation.

i have always known that life is short. death can come to anyone at anytime. but i never imagined myself dying tragically. as dramatic or artistic as i may seem to be, i don't desire neither a dramatic nor artistic ending. if i can choose my own, i want it as simple, as silent, and as painless as it can be.

but even those who drowned and left with Ondoy and Pepeng must have also wished a happy and peaceful kind of dying. they, too, never thought that they would pass that way. and if i was one of them, would i be ready? i never feared dying, per se. but would i be ready for a death as sudden? and as helpless? see, i never really learned how to swim. i can float and manage a few strokes, yes. but these meager skills can't save me from drowning from the floods of Ondoy or Pepeng. much as i wanted passing on peacefully, what would i do in such a situation? how 'bout my loved ones, would i be able to help them?

living life is already hard in itself. i don't understand why dying can be as hard or even harder. what's with all the things happening around us nowadays?!? killer typhoons, earthquakes, plane crash... what else would be next? although i am really very thankful that my family and i, as well as most of my friends are okay and survived the recent calamities, still... it's really very sad and hard to see those people die that way. if the things that transpired may be the signs of the times, then may God bless us all...

***

hearing this song on NU107 for the first time, led me to think things and blog again. it made me write this entry. for what? nothing. just to think and realize that whenever God may choose to have me, i will not complain. i am more than thankful for all the blessings and love He has surrounded me with to complain. besides, no one really knows how we are all gonna die. even those who are ill can never be really ready when the time comes. so, as for me, i will be wherever God wants me to be till the last of my days... always thankful, always grateful... and greatly loved.

yeah... this song encompasses everything am feeling right now.

am good to go anytime.

well 'am all good to go... as long as i get my death wish not to have a funeral until i get cremated. i want to remain alive....

...in your memories of course. :)

"antukin" ni rico blanco

iniwan ka na ng eroplano
ok lang baby
'wag kang magbago
dito ka lang
humimbing
sa aking piling
antukin

kukupkupin na lang kita
sorry wala ka nang magagawa
mahalin mo na lang ako
ng sobra-sobra
para patas naman tayo
'di ba?

chorus:
sasalubungin natin ang kinabukasan
ng walang takot at walang pangamba
tadhana'y merong tip na makapangyarihan
kung ayaw may dahilan
kung gusto palaging merong paraan

pinaiyak ka ng manghuhula
hindi na raw tayo magkasamang tatanda
buti nalang
merong langit na nagtatanggol sa
pag-ibig na pursigido't matiyaga

bridge:
long as we stand as one
ano man ang ating makabangga
nothing will ever break us
wala talaga
as in wala

coda:
hahalikan nalang natin ang kinabukasan
ng buong loob at yayakapin pa
tadhana'y medyo overrated kung minsan
kung ayaw may dahilan
kung gusto palaging merong paraan

gumawa na lang tayo ng paraan
gumawa na lang tayo ng...
baby, gumawa na lang tayo ng paraan

***lyrics mula sa blog ni niña sandejas

ang entry na ito ay para sa'yo... alam mo na kung sino ka. kung bakit? basahin mo na lang 'yung title at 'yung lyrics.

una kong narinig at nakita ang mtv ng kantang ito sa blog ni niña sandejas. kaya salamat sa kanya. alam kong hindi naman siya nagbabasa ng blog ko, pero salamat pa rin. hehe... oo na, huli na ko sa lahat at kailan ko lang nalaman ang kantang ito. pero 'ika nga nila, huli man daw at magaling.... huli pa rin! ahehehe... 'di na kasi ako nakakapakinig ng NU107. at mas lalo namang hindi na ako nakakapanood ng MTV dahil wala kaming cable. isa pang kamalas-malasan, hindi rin makuha ang channel 23 sa aming sushal nga pero walang kwenta namang tv (mejo flatscreen na kse ito). kaya goodbye rin MYX. hay... e kse naman daw, digital na raw ang tv na ito, kaya kailangang may cable ka talaga para makuha mo lahat ng channel nang malinaw. kapag antenna lang ang ginamit mo, e goodluck na lang sa'yo. kaya goodluck na lang sa'kin!

bihira akong makagusto ng kantang halong ingles at tagalog ang lyrics. pero magaling talagang gumawa ng kanta si rico blanco. simple ang mga salita at pagkakasulat, at madali itong tumatak sa isipan ng sino mang makikinig. sa aking opinyon, isa si rico sa mga musikero at bandistang Filipino na magaling humabi ng mga salita upang maging isang simple ngunit makata at makabuluhan na mga kanta. nakakalungkot man na kinailangan niyang humiwalay sa dati niyang banda, nakakatuwa na rin dahil hindi siya tumigil sa pamamahagi ng kaniyang talento sa industriya ng musika. nawa'y patuloy pa rin siyang humabi ng mga masisinsin na mga awiting Filipino na ating maipagmamalaki.

kakapakinig ko lang din ngayon-ngayon lang ng kantang ito sa NU107 (o ayan, nakikinig na 'ko ulit!), kaya naisipan ko na ring i-post ang entry na ito. tutal e wala pa naman akong song entry para sa linggong ito. kaya bago ako humayo mamayang gabi papunta sa aking maikling bakasyon sa la union, na sisingitan ng maikling byahe sa ilocos ng sabado, at babalik ulit ng maynila ng linggo (kasalanan mong lahat ng ito, bespren ko doon!)... whew!!! e iiwanan ko muna ang aking blog, at ikaw na masugid na tagasubaybay ng aking blog, ng isang kyut na kyut na kanta. :) para sa'yo talaga 'to e, kasi antukin ka talaga!

being happy

when i was much, much younger it seemed that it was hard to be happy or that it was such a feat to achieve happiness in life. i always try to find things to do, places to go to, stuff to buy, and all other quests for trivial or superficial things just so i can say or feel that i am truly enjoying myself and my life. but then again, i guess that's part of growing-up. i was still so naive and thought that happiness should always come in fantabulous packages that give out extra sensational feelings.

now that am much older and mature, i have learned to appreciate small things in life. i become to see things as i have never seen them before or things that i overlooked or took for granted... little things that truly make me happy. i realize that i failed to see the beauty and meaning of life in very simple things. it's the kind of happiness that couldn't be taken away in spite of and no matter what... the simple joys of life.

happiness, just like life, is indeed a choice...

"sleeps with butterflies" by tori amos

no biggie this time, all i wana say is that the first time i heard this song i thought... wow, tori amos ain't that gloomy and nega anymore. hehe... i loved tori amos since i duno when. ooh, i guess since, the "silent all these years" and "cornflake girl" era, which i think was the 90s. back then, her songs are kinda sad and angst driven. but then again, maybe that's just how i exactly was at that time. i was kinda rebellious i guess, being a teener.

i have had only two tori amos albums, "under the pink," which got lost, and "the beekeeper," where this cut is included. i plan to collect all her albums, as i plan for most of the artists i fancy, but i always get sidetracked for a whole lotta reasons. but of course, at times, money is a big issue. since there are just so many artists that i so looooooove.... it's hard to budget to be able to buy them all, not to mention many other priorities.

anywayz... this is one of the songs that i like from "the beekeeper" album. of course, it's part of my so-called "life songs." i've been through much in life, as well as in relationships. i know nothing is perfect but i know my worth. my favorite lines can speak for myself...

"i'm not like the girls that you've known
but i believe i'm worth coming home to
kiss away night
this girl only sleeps with butterflies...."





airplanes
take you away again
are you flying
above where we live
then i look up a glare in my eyes
are you having regrets about last night
i'm not but i like rivers that rush in
so then i dove in
is there trouble ahead
for you the acrobat
i won't push you unless you have a net

you say the word
you know i will find you
or if you need some time
i don't mind
i don't hold on
to the tail of your kite
i'm not like the girls that you've known
but i believe i'm worth coming home to
kiss away night
this girl only sleeps with butterflies
with butterflies
so go on and fly then boy

balloons
look good from on the ground
i fear with pins and needles around
we may fall then stumble
upon a carousel
it could take us anywhere

i'm not like the girls that you've known
but i believe i'm worth coming home to
kiss away night
this girl only sleeps with butterflies
with butterflies
with butterflies
so go on and fly boy

"on my way to you"

written by marilyn & alan bergman and michel legrand



so often as i wait for sleep
i find myself reciting
the words i've said or should have said
like scenes that need rewriting
the smiles i never answered
doors perhaps i should have opened
songs forgotten in the morning
i relive the roles i've played
the tears i may have squandered
the many pipers i have paid
along the roads i've wandered
yet all the time i knew it
love was somewhere out there waiting
though i may regret a kiss or two
if i had changed a single day
what went amiss or went astray
i may have never found my way to you
if i had changed a single day
what went amiss or went astray
i may have never found my way to you
i wouldn't change a thing that happened
on my way to you...

on one of the many drinking friday nights at conspi, i, a conspirator-friend, and some others were talking about weddings and wedding songs. my conspirator-friend told me that i should listen to the song "on my way to you." if i remember it right, my friend said that her sister used it on her wedding. am not really that good in song titles, so even if i know a certain song, it doesn't necessarily mean i know the title. i told my friend that i might know the song, i just have to look for and listen to it first to find out. and so a few days after that night, i did. i found out that, yes, i do know the song.... and in fact, love it too. so thanks tinabebe, for reminding me of this great song.

as usual for me, i went looking for the original version of the song, which i believe was sung by barbara streisand. or she might be just the one who's popularly known to sing this song written by marilyn & alan bergman and michel legrand. but sadly, i can't find any online audio or video copy of it. so i just opted to embed in here the nicest versions, in my opinion, from youtube.

it was a very reflective moment when i first listened to the song and a host of its versions, as well as savoring the lyrics. this is definitely one of my lifesongs... it says everything that i've always or recently believed in. i have come to accept the fact that we all have to hurt sometimes... we commmit mistakes, make wrong decisions, and all but those are all part of life. these things mold us to be who we are and ought to be.

i remember one saying that goes something like, God allows us to meet the wrong people because He is preparing us and the person that is truly meant for us. so, we shouldn't blame God nor anybody for the pain we experience. instead, welcome it, accept it, and everything will fall into place.

as i look back on all the things i went through, i just thank God that inspite of everything, am still here. i survived... He, indeed, won't give me anything i cannot bear. i have forgiven all who may have hurt me, one way or another, in the past. i no longer bear any grudges, these things aren't for me to hold in my heart, but should be left and lifted up to God. He knows what's
best. God's plan is always the best.

yes, of course it is not easy to get hurt and be in pain. but if not for all those bad things i went through, i won't be as strong and and as wise as i am now. cliche as it may seem, but things really do happen for a reason. i may not know yet all the reasons now, but soon enough i know i will. whatever those reasons are, am sure that God is just taking care of me and putting me in my rightful place.



and to you who has always been there... i know that you aren't a patient person, that's why it still remains a puzzle to me how you are able to still be there. maybe it's meant to be that way? or we're meant? love? devotion? obssession? hehe.... just joking. i don't know... i will never know what the future holds for us just as yet. but i thank you for everything... with all my heart. am truly grateful to have you in my life. as i've said before, despite of all the pains we went through, i wouldn't want to change a single thing that happened, because if i do, i may not ever find my way to you....

"someday" by nina

since my last song post has nina's version, i decided to post one of her originals. this is the only song of her that i like, since most of her songs/albums are covers anyway. when she was still starting out, the first ever song i heard of her on the radio was "jealous." it did catch my attention coz it has a different sound. although i didn't really like the song entirely, i thought it was a nice song and that this girl got potential. but soon enough, my interest on her kinda waned because she didn't really do much originals. honestly, i prefer her rival, kyla, more.

anyhooo, nina caught my attention again with this song. it's nice in the sense that most of us girls, i guess, can identify with the song. for me, the simplicity of the song made it very effective to the listener. i do hope nina makes more original songs like this one. the same goes to other artists, may they be new or old, who just pick out favorite songs and make it an album. i guess one all-cover album is enough in, say, ten years or why not just add one cover in an album instead of doing an all-cover album? still, it is best to create an all-original album. it is hard, yes of course. but wouldn't it be more fulfilling to produce something you really worked hard for? besides, covers can be reserved for gigs and events. there are still so much songs in the world of ideas just waiting to be created and heard.

someday you'll gonna realize
one day you'll see through my eyes
but then i won't even be there
i'll be happy somewhere
even if i cared

i know
you dont really see my worth
you think you're the last guy on earth
well i've got news for you
i know i'm not that strong
but it won't take long
won't take long

coz someday, someone's gonna love me
the way, i want you to need me
someday, someone's gonna take your place
one day i'll forget about you
you'll see, i won't even miss you
someday, someday

but now
i know you can't tell
i'm down, and i'm not down anyway
but one day these tears
they will all run dry
i won't have to cry
sweet goodbye

coz someday, someone's gonna love me
the way, i want you to need me
someday, someone's gonna take your place
one day i'll forget about you
you'll see, i won't even miss you
someday, someday

my earth hour

a few days before the 28th of march, my tita kept on saying that "earth hour" will be observed on the coming saturday. well, she didn't actually said "earth hour." maybe she doesn't really know that term. i think she was more of saying it's "earth day" and that lights will be turned-off for an hour on the 28th. so, i said to myself, "oh, that's good. at least she will or wants to participate." am happy to think about that because i didn't really expect her to be someone who supports any kind of cause. well, unless she finds it out from someone. then that's the time she usually echoes it out to anyone she talks to or comes across with, like it's as if she knows it like the back of her hand and believes everything about it unfalteringly. and so, since my mom and i live with her, then of course we are usually the first ones to hear her preachings, much like the endless litanies she yacks, that i grew up with, and that she still throws from time to time.

so, saturday came. while my mom and tita left for the church for an anticipated 6pm mass, i rushed off to conspi at about 7pm or so. aside from the "earth hour" that i will be participating in for that day, a friend-conspirator invited me for a launch of a portrait sketches exhibit. i arrived at conspi almost 9pm already as the traffic on edsa near trinoma is horrendous. hay.... i read a chapter or so of dan brown's "angels & demons" getting through that traffic. anyhow, when i got to conspi, the program for the exhibit launch was almost over. and as soon as it ended, all the people inside the music hall came out and "earth hour" officially began.





it was the first time i saw conspi without any lights on, except for the candles that the staff gave out so that we wont be groping in the dark. and while the candle distribution and lighting is happening, a group of musicians took out their guitars and started singing and playing good music. nice... it was like a simple "inuman session" i used to enjoy when i was younger. an artist, who participated in the sketching sessions for the said exhibit, also jammed with his guitar and harmoica. yes, at the same time... galeng! even an american friend from guam really enjoyed the night jamming and playing some of his originals. this american, whom we fondly call tito joe or uncle tote, frequents conspi. he never fails to go to conspi everytime he's in the country. he says that it's his most favorite place on the planet. and to prove that he was really exhilirated that night, he knocked-off my beer and my shorts got kinda wet. hehe... but it's all good. that won't really ruin a great night of fun with conspi friends. it was actually the first time i participated in the "earth hour" since i was not yet familiar with it before and am glad i had my first at conspi.



meanwhile, back at the house. when i woke up the next day, i was having my breakfast, then my tita joined me. so, i asked her if they turned-off the lights the day before. this was sort of what she said: "hinde... late na rin naman kami nakauwi. at saka magpapakain pa ako ng aso, maaatrasado ako, gagabihin ako. nananawa na nga akong magpakain ng mga yan. saka... wala rin namang nagpatay ng ilaw dito sa kalye natin."

hmmmm..... sigh.... i just kept quiet. i didn't want to say anything.

"one of these days" by barry manilow

barry manilow has a bunch of songs that pinoys are crazy about. but if i were to choose one, it will be this song. well, i also used to sing "somewhere down the road" or "if i should love again" with the rest of the country though. well, who wouldn't? it was, and still is i guess, like a mantra for the brokenhearted or the national anthem for the lonely hearts club. and even if you aren't part of those groups, you just can't help but to know those songs and sing with it. filipinos, as they say, are natural suckers for love songs. most of us grew-up to these kinda songs playing all the time on the radio, specially if it's a backtrack day, a mellow songs day, or a sunday. as for myself, i seemed to outgrow these mushy love songs as i got older and realized that i don't have to like 'em just because the rest of the world does.

even though growing older made me more individualized or unique, having my own style and taste, i still tend to listen to barry manilow. of course i don't really do that much, but there will always be a song or two that will always let me stop in the middle of whatever am doing and listen.

i don't remember if i was lonely or heartbroken when i first heard "one of these days." but maybe not, 'coz am sure to be much younger then. but anyhow, i guess that's also how i am. i get to like a song, even though it doesn't seem to have any particular connection to my life whatsoever. but then again, at times, it will suddenly have a meaning for me at a much later time. more of like a foreshadowing of some sort. or it can also just remain to be a song i just happen to like, nonetheless.

but i do remember a time when this song just popped on the radio and sent me to deep, deep thoughts with tears welling-up my eyes. and i said to myself, ya, "one of these days" i will be gone and i won't be there just like how i used to and just like how you are used to. till then, you will all see my worth and it will all be too late. ya, ya, i know... drama. but we all do have those "mala-teleserye" monologue moments, we are just too proud to admit them.


one of these days
one of these very ordinary days
you're gonna call my name
and i won't be there
after the days
after these very, very many days

you're gonna see the light
and i won't be there

and on that day
somehow i'll find the strength to stay away
i won't give in
i will not let myself be taken in... again
oh no my friend

one of these days
out of the blue you'll start remembering
and i won't care
'cause i won't be there

oh, and on that day
i swear i'll find the strength somehow to stay away
i won't give in
i will not let myself be taken in... again
oh no my friend

that's what i say
that's what i tell myself... i won't give in
so try it someday
and you'll see that i won't be there
no, you know, no, i won't

these day-eeya-eeya-eeya-aaa-aays
i -- won't be there
no, no, no i won't be there...

it's never that often that i hear this song, but each time i do, i can't help but to be teary-eyed. i don't know if it's just because am getting older that's why i easily cry or am really just a crybaby. it can also be just as simple as a reflection of having gone through some things in this life.

anywayz, although i still think that nothing beats the original, am also sharing nina's version of the song.

One Of These Days - Nina

so am not the only one...

i thought i was the only one who hates it... but it turns out that even daphne oseña does too. i was just reading her blog a few seconds ago, and it's good to know that it isn't just me. hating to be called "dear" or "my dear," that is. i thought i was weird or something. it turns out that people are just different.

even way back in my former job, i really hate it when my boss and a host of other high ranking people, would call us, newbies or younger ones, "dear" or "my dear." yes, i cringe at it, and i don't know why. as in ewwwwwww! while others seem not to mind, i do. i don't see it as a form of endearment or a sweet gesture. ya, maybe an endearment for some so they can get their way or to stress out that they know better than you. and sometimes, for a lack of a better word, or not to say something bad, other people would just use "dear." there may be all sorts of reasons, which the speakers will or won't admit. but whatever these are, am fine to be called by my name.... really.

picture courtesy of: http://www.dropeverythingandread.com

the freeman is indeed free...

video courtesy of: abs-cbnnews.com

it is truly saddening to hear this news... i thought he will survive and conquer the big "C." but apparently not...

i grew up seeing francis magalona in movies, on tv, and hearing his songs on the radio. i admire his patriotism, which is very much evident in his music and artworks. through the years, he continuously improved his talents and explored all possible horizons that he can.

i remember, i didn't really like francis before because of his being a matinee idol, an actor, or a rapper. i started liking him when he started to be a dj, a vj, and a host. only then did i appreciate his being a rapper. i realized that he is very effective because he enunciates his words very well, may it be in filipino or in english. actually, if not for francis, i may not have come to appreciate rap music.

since i am a person who is very particular with english and grammar, it is no wonder that i grew a liking for francis m. it is my major pre-requisite for liking somebody actually. hehe... as in real "like," in the romantic sense of the word. though i may not be a real big fan who would go ga-ga over him, i do admire and respect him as an artist. he has accomplished so many things already in just a short span of time in this world. and so i guess, it is a life that is well-lived, as they say.

francis may be gone and will sorely be missed my those whose lives he has touched. let us just console ourselves that, inspite of it all, the freeman is indeed finally free...

smile...

"pinili kong maging masaya dahil mas madaling ngumiti.... kaysa ipaliwanag kung bakit ako malungkot...." (i choose to be happy because it is easier to smile than to explain why i am lonely.)

from www.smileyland.com

those were the words printed on a shirt i saw from a pic in a friend's multiply account. and i want to have a shirt like that. it's even colored green, very simple, but it exactly says how i am when am lonely.

as they say, people who have more smiles hide behind the same amount of tears. i guess that goes for many people out there. pinoys are generally happy people. we tend to be joyful amidst all the odds we are in, which is a very good thing. there are only a few people who are transparent with their feelings. most often than not, we tend to hide our true feelings, not because we want to lie but simply because we don't want to talk about it. truly, it's so much easier to smile than to explain why you have a frown on your face and answer endless why?? questions.

why are you lonely?

because my parents scolded me.

why?

because i came in late last night.

why?

because i went out with my friends and got drunk.

why?

because.......

and it goes on..... and on..... and on..... and on.......


isn't it tiring to answer so many questions specially when you are not in that chatty- spill-the-beans mood and you don't really want to talk about heavy, dramatic stuff? and so to avoid putting yourself in that uncomfortable Q&A situation, you just smile...

yes, i do smile often too. actually i smile more now than when i was younger. there are actually so much to smile about in my life that i have not noticed before. but whether my smiles are made of happiness or sadness, only i know what lies beneath them.

handbag dilemma

been hearing bout handbag dilemma lately... what to buy? is this nice? do you think it suits me? so.... ironically, i found this quiz on the net:

What Your Handbag Says About You

You tend to be relaxed but alert. You keep your eye out for anything unusual. You are a very unique and special person. There's no one else who is anything like you.

What Does Your Handbag Say About You?

paul and kleng's wedding

wow! its been such a great while since ive blogged. having a job, i guess, doesnt do my blog any good. hehe.... but i miss blogging though. actually, there are so much that i need to blog about. there's this blog that i was supposed to write about a friend's wedding, but.... as usual, until now i never have written it. :( the fact that i lost the camera where all the pics i have taken from that wedding were doesn't give me any enthusiasm to start writing. well, apart from posting conspi's monthly schedule, that is.

but here it goes...

those who are familiar with my blog would know that the wedding blog i am talking about is supposed to be a follow-up to the proposal and engagement blog and the bridal shower blog i have written some time, if not ages, ago. now, my drive and excitement to write about that wedding has somehow waned because i havent got any pix to show how great that occasion was. but anyhow, i will still try to post a simple blog to remember that day.

yes, kleng, one of my very good friends, has finally tied the knot at 32 on november 24, 2007. (hmmm.... akala ko mare hindi na tayo ikakasal... ako lang pala yun... ahehehe!) it was one of the most beautiful weddings i have attended. well, actually most of my close friends' weddings were great. but since i havent gone to weddings in a veeeeeeeery long time already, this recent one can be considered as the best... hehe...



i am kinda happy that i needed not wear anything fantabulous. coz at least for this wedding, i didnt have any part to play. whew! i had been a bride's maid, a candle sponsor, and a veil sponsor in weddings. (never was a cord sponsor or a maid of honor though...) but for this wedding, i was just a simple guest... yipee! although i have also attended weddings where i was also a guest, most of the time i play a role if it's a friend's wedding. and when i dont play any part in the wedding, my closest friends would know that i dont wear a dress or a gown. and so, i wore pants on kleng's wedding, matched with an indian inspired top. but of course i dressed suitable for the occasion even though i did not wear a gown you know! :D


that night before kleng's wedding, i was supposed to spend the night at the hotel with her. but i did not go because i was not feeling too well and i thought too that she needed much rest in preparation for her wedding the next day. knowing kleng and myself, we will just talk and talk the whole night and never sleep. so, i just dropped by at the hotel the day of the wedding instead of going straight to the church.


when i arrived at the hotel, kleng was already fully made up. she looked glorious in white.... like me, kleng never really dress-up that much. i guess that is why when she does, she really looks gorgeous. naks! (sister, love your own kse di ba!?! ;p) in the hotel room, i saw her family and a few close friends. and just a few minutes after i arrived, all were set to take pictures. apart from the professional photographers, i and kleng's freinds also took pictures with our own cameras. but sadly, i wasn't able to save mine. huhuhu.... after all the kodakan, we all got ready to leave for the church. i rode with two people, one is kleng's friend and the other is paul's (the groom), following the bridal car.

in the church, i met some of the groom's friends. together with them, i and my companions seated together. it was the first time i had been to the hearts of mary and jesus parish, which is also popularly called "twin hearts." i have heard so much about this church before. they said it is a very nice, small church in west triangle that is very ideal for intimate weddings. and indeed it is... kleng and paul's choice was great. the ceremony was also very touching because the priest who officiated the wedding shared and sang a beautiful song about commitment. (which reminds me that i have to ask kleng for the title for the nth time.) after the wedding, instead of throwing rice, the guests where given little bubble bottles to blow baby bubbles on the newly-weds. while doing just that, i realized that you cant really empty out the bubble bottle cause its not that easy to blow bubbles even though you try hard as you can. naubusan lang naman ako ng hininga! :D

the place where the reception was held was also very nice, although am not really that familiar with the place. i especially liked the tree outside that was peppered with long strings of small bright lights glowing in the early evening. it actually reminded me of a weeping willow tree, only a glowing one. although i havent really seen a live one, only in pictures, i really like how that kind of tree looks. there were also small candles inside mini-paper bags that light the stairs and walkway going to the reception hall. parang fairytale... hehe... i felt like sleeping beauty lost in the woods guided only by these mini-lights. as in ganun talaga ang effect... :D

another surprising thing on this event was the reception itself. instead of having table numbers, the couple thought of having the tables named after signifcant people, things, or events in their lives. actually, i forgot what the name of my table was. i think it was "pau & mau." if i remember it right, pau was the designer of the cartoon on the wedding invites, while mau naman was repsonsible yata for the invitation itself and the wedding favors. ayun... there was also a table named "conspiracy...." o di ba... why? kasi nga di ba, thats where paul prosposed to kleng on valentines day, while noel cabangon was playing??? o di ba, significant talaga ako sa kanila? this thing about the table names was explained as an introduction to a game. the hosts said that those names on the tables are connected to both the bride and the groom. and so, they asked trivias bout the newly weds in connection with those table names. i was able to answer one question cause obvious naman na dapat alam ko ang sagot. the question was, where did paul propose to kleng? nakakainis no? ang hirap ng tanong?

so there.... the things i have mentioned are the most important things for me in paul&kleng's wedding. actually, there are a lot, but those topped my list. and lastly, of all weddings i have attended, this couple is my favorite. they never get tired of having their pictures taken... as in... paul and kleng..... ADIK!!! :D congrats again chummies... oh, double congratulations cause kleng is now expecting a baby... o di ba ang bilis ni papa paul? love ya papa G and mama G!!! cant wait for baby G!

p.s. salamat sa mga ninakaw ko ng walang paalam na pictures sa multiply site ni paul . :D ;p pasensya na po... :)


pati singers mana sa ikinasal, adik! :D

ops! wag mabahala... hindi po dalawa ang pinakasalan ni kleng. isa lamang. bahala na kayong manghula kung sino jan.... ahehehe!!!

i havent attended weddings for quite a while. cant even remember when and whose wedding i attended last. all i know is that there was a particular time before that my schedule was very tight with weddings here and there. and not only that, i usually was either a bridesmaid or a secondary sponsor. now, most of my friends are already married and at my age, that is not surprising.

i never thought that i will be attending weddings again. not because i dont expect my few single friends to get married, but maybe because i, myself, am not that much focused on the idea anymore. i have long accepted the fact that i may not end up getting married and am ok with it. am not worried and i dont pity myself either. why should i waste my time doing that anyway? i guess its just a matter of acceptance and being happy and contented with my life. whatever is Gods plan for me, i will gladly accept it wholeheartedly...

on the 24th day of this month, am gona be attending a very good friends wedding. i am very happy for her because she has finally found the one for her after long years of waiting. i have been a witness to the story of her past loves. each of those we thought would end up at the altar, but all have failed and left her broken. and finally, she has found a curly-topped angel that brought her to the euphoric state she is in today... (hehehe.... ;p) and i hope that feeling will last for the rest of their married years together....

as a gift and an expression of love and appreciation to a great friend, i will be blogging about this meaningful event in her life. i will start by re-posting an article i wrote in my old blog last february. unfortunately, that blog was violated and i had no choice but to close and delete my account. i did that with a heavy heart because i know that there are people who had been reading my blog and truly appreciated it.

so here it is again, my article about the day paul proposed to kleng at conspiracy garden cafe.... :)

have a chummy hearts day :)

i cant remember any memorable valentines day in my entire life... ironically i may say because i had been in a very long term relationship. its sad though, to think that i cannot remember any special valentines day in those years. that which cannot be blamed on a forgetful mind that i have, but i guess it is simply because the other person doesnt really seem to make an effort to make that day extra special or meaningful nor any other occasion as well. as i tell my friends... effortless indeed... :D

it was a great hearts day at conspiracy last night. the valentines promo was such a success. i was surprised to see that almost all the tables inside were reserved when i arrived. i myself reserved a table for me and my friends. i arrived early so i waited for them. when the first group arrived, we settled on our seats and started the usual chatting, yacking, kulitan and laughter, as we wait for the others. we were so noisy, with our voices and merriment rocking the place, that it seemed conspiracy is having a major earthquake. but not anyone of us hardly expected that that night was going to be an even more blasting night for all of us...

who couldve known that i would have a great, if not the best, valentines day of my life ever? it is not because i am romantically involved with someone, but because of the company of great friends. and also because of a very remarkable moment in the life of a dear friend. i am deeply touched and honored that i am present in that occasion.

paul already told me that he has a gift for kleng and he asked one of the waiters to keep it for the meantime. he wants to surprise kleng. when the moment came, i went to the bar and got pauls gift, put it on klengs seat, as we were waiting for her to come back from the restroom. when kleng got back, she was asking what was that bag of gift and to whom does it belong to. (deadma pa ang lola ko! kanino raw ang gift? duh! iha, nasa upuan mo kaya? e di sayo! lol...) at that time we were all cajoling her to open the gift already. and she was playing hard to get by telling us no she wont open it because its her gift and she will open it whenever she pleases to. but then again, she gave in, of course, what with all of us hounding on her??? :D


pauls gift was very simple... it was a huge red mug. it has a heart drawing with their names written on it. inside it are personalized m&m chocolates, in pink and blue, to the brim. when ria got one chocolate, she screamed in blushing delight, kilig to the hilt... as it is written on the small round treat, "will you marry me?"


and when i got myself one piece, it says, "iloveyou kleng."

we were all eating and enjoying the chocolates for a while already, then kleng found a string right in the middle of the chocolates. we didnt really see it because its rather dim, as noel cabangon was still playing. when kleng pulled out the string, there was a ring at the end of it... :) and all of us were screaming...


paul and klengs wedding is already planned and set for this year. but as paul said, the proposal was rather late already. he hasnt really proposed yet, but just last night. but to a girl like kleng with simple wants and dreams, who could ask for anything more?

to my chummy friend kleng... we go a long way back since our college days, but it seems more than that. we are like more than sisters even... what with our names almost the same?!? hahaha... i am very glad that you are finally happy...

to paul... i have known you for just a very short while. in fact, ive just met you last night, but i know that you will take care of kleng...


best wishes to both of you... and as i promised kleng, i will give the best gift that i can for your wedding... since i am passionate bout music... i will give and share with you my gift of music...

thanks to both of you for making my heart fonder and my hearts day a very meaningful one...

happy hearts day!!!

ANG TANGI KONG PAG-IBIG
Noel Cabangon

ang tangi kong pag-ibig
sa puso'y laging may pintig
walang ibang inaasam
ikaw lang magpakailanman

at sana'y iyong madama
aking wagas na pagsinta
walang ibang iniisip
walang ibang panaginip

dahil ikaw, ikaw lamang
ang aking kalawakan
ikaw lamang ang buhay
pumipintig sa bawat sandali

ang tangi kong pag-ibig
ay ligayang kay tamis
kaya't sana'y iyong mabatid
itong aking paglalambing

dahil ikaw, ikaw lamang
ang aking kalawakan
ikaw lamang ang buhay
pumipintig sa bawat sandali

ang tangi kong pag-ibig
ay pangakong walang patid
walang ibang inaasam
ikaw lamang magpakailanman...

02.15.2007

identical rings

i dont know why people started having identical rings. in the first place, even if a person is already married, he or she, but usually its he does not really wear it. how even sure are you that your better half is wearing your ring? i had worn identical rings before and it has served me a little too well though. twice.

theres just one thing i realized... when your better half starts not to wear your ring or he/she doesnt wear your ring at all (he/she maybe just wears it when youre together), it just means that he/she is just not into you. in my experience, when i used to wear an identical ring, i wasnt afraid to be mistaken married even though i was not. for me, people who dont want to wear the ring are those who still like to attract other people. that just means you must let them go...

happy weekend

so much to write... so little time... so sad.... :( hmmm.... there are actually alota things i wanna write but i dont have the time i used to have before when i was still a bum. i even told my bestfriend this afternoon how i used to have all the time in my hands, i can just run to la union if i want to. but now, no more. i got alota things to do and i cant even squeeze em all in my schedule like personal favors for friends, things i need to buy, places i need to go to, people i need to meet, and a whole lota bunch. but now am happy coz its a long weekend. :) happy, happy, happy!!! and yes, am going to la union! :)



i always plan to write something before i go to sleep but i just cant. when i go home, all i know is that i just want to sleep. my brain seems so drained of all the words that am supposed to write in here. work zaps out all the words and memories in my brains. i know my co-workers share the same sentiments. quota, quota, quota... thats actually my brain ticking at work. hay... am glad i finished one article before i sleep and make that trip to la union. lest i will hear my brain tick again while picking out shells from the beaches of bauang. not my idea of unwinding...

hope i sleep well for a nice long bus ride this morning....